Weird dream...

Wed, Nov. 23rd, 2011 09:04 pm
rhainus: Rain Box (Rain Box)
Okay so it's not Monday or anything like that but I felt like I had to write something... Yesterday night, I had a very weird dream... I dreamed of my ex-best friend! This is freaky, weird, everything! I searched up the meaning and maybe the dream had something to do with our "break up".

We stopped being friends for a stupid reason but because I feel like he doesn't want me as his friend anymore, I can't go and talk to him... I felt really sad when he said we wouldn't be friends anymore... He changed so much this past months. Just because he admitted to be gay, got himself a boyfriend (even though they are only dating to show the world their sexuality) and then met new people.

We met each other when we were in the same class (6th grade). We never talked very much but in our 8th grade we began to spend more time together and before we knew it, we were best friends. We did everything together, told each other our secrets and we even wrote a story together (I might post it someday and finish it). In our 9th grade, I asked to be changed from my class and we were separated but we still remained best friends. We didn't spend much time together but we were indeed friends and still talked to each other. He was my best friend, the best of the best friends I had ever had. In our 10th grade, this year, we had to change schools but we still are in the same school. Because we choose different study areas, we got separated again. We continued to be friends and talk to each other but while I kept being a loner with my class, he started getting more and more outgoing with them. Suddenly, he told me he got a boyfriend. I was happy with him, really, but I felt that he wasn't really in love with him and that was an awful thing but I never judged him because of that. I supported him all the way. The problem was that he began to spend more time with his class and then we rarely saw each other. And whenever we got together, he would always tell me that I should try to get better with my own class. I was so sick but I didn't say anything. One day, I was going to my class and he started telling me the same stuff. I said my goodbyes and went to class. Later when I found him, I told him I wanted to speak with him but he told me he had nothing to speak. I was sad and started going away but he stopped me and said that he was just kidding. I said that it was okay if he didn't want to speak with me in that moment and when I was going way, he told me that he would never, ever be my friend again... At that time, I felt my chest clench and tears almost made their way to my eyes.

Now, whenever we meet each other, he is always smiling and completely ignores me. I feel broken... he was my best friend... The person that I considered more important in my whole world... Now, he ignores me and talks bad behind my back...

I just want us to be friends again... but I'm afraid... I feel like crying whenever I see you, Sérgio. i just hope we get to be friends again.


Tue, Nov. 22nd, 2011 08:31 pm
rhainus: Coffee (Coffee)
 Hey! As I said in the title, I'm updating my last week and the beginning of this one.

First, I decided to start writing my dairy only on Mondays, because I usually don't have anything very urgent to say. To tell you the truth, I started writing yesterday but I did something and the whole post was lost. After writing a lot, but really a lot, and then lose everything just like that, you don't want to write it again so soon so that's what happened to me.

First, last week wasn't anything special except for Friday. I went to the cinema with two of my friends. One of them is in the same school but the other went to another one. But we still are very good friends, even if it's not very noticeable. We went to see Breaking Dawn Part 1, mostly because they wanted to see it. I am not a fan of Twilight but I completely love Jacob, the character. And then after the movie, I fell in love twice as hard. He's so sweet and strong, not to mention a werewolf that only gives him points. :D I liked the movie but the beginning wasn't really my type. The ending, on the other hand, was a lot. :D It was a nice way to spend with my friends. =D

And I officially hate weekends. Why, you ask? Because my parents don't let me alone for 5 minutes. They are always calling me for this or that. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. My I also like my own alone time to do whatever I damn want. On weekends, when they are not working, it's just plain hell. I don't even consider them weekends anymore!

And I have a new favorite pairing to add to my list! (I guess I will write a list sometime later, maybe even today, so that I have a small idea of what I like/used to like/anything/whatever.) And the pairing is *drum rolls* Steve and Danny from Hawaii 5-O! Yes, they are both males. I am an Yaoi Fangirl, proudly! I mean, I had love the series from as long as I remember but somehow, Sunday when I was seeing a marathon of the series, something inside me flashed and I noticed that their relationship could pretty well be taken to another step. I even started reading fan fictions about them (currently writing one of my own to join the countless list of fictions I started and never ended. I guess I should make another list for this one. :D).

And, finally, the last thing. Today I left school early and went with my classmates home. I was a little afraid of starting to rain and get all wet but I still went. First, it was cold as hell! (10ºC is pretty hot for maybe half the world but in here is pretty cold. We extremely rarely get negative degrees.) Everything was going well, other than the cold and slightly rainy weather, but when I was almost reaching my house, it started raining pretty hard. We took shelter in a building and waited for awhile. Suddenly, I saw a flash and some seconds later I heard a really loud bang sound! I swear I've never been so close to thunder than today! When I head the sound, I was really scared. I didn't know I was so afraid of thunder than today. When I got home, I was wet from head to toe. I went to take a quick shower to warm myself and it must have taken at least 1 hour to calm my heart down. I was so scared... Just hope I will never have to witness something like that. I haven't been so scared in such a long time... I guess I had forgotten what true fear was like...


Mon, Nov. 14th, 2011 08:43 pm
rhainus: ~Choco~ (~Choco~)
As I said in the title, I'm Back! (Well I was never gone but let's just forget about that. :D).

I guess I'll start with today because the last days nothing much happened. Today I got my English test! I got a 18,2!!! (in 20 so it's actually pretty good. :D) And I also got my Biology test, in which I got a 14,7 that is also good but not what I was expecting. Well, either way I am extremely happy with English since I mostly learned it from the internet and my brother. Of course there's always the fact that I'm learning the freaking !BASICS! in school so yeah... I guess I shouldn't be too proud of myself. xP Either way, I am happy. But what I am really happier about is the fact that this is the second time that the teacher looks at me like I'm an alien since the people he is expecting the good grades is not me. I think he sees me as an average student. :D So I'm extremely happy when he is like "WTF?" when he grades the tests. :D

On to a different subject, Philosophy. I hate that subject, really, but I have to take it for at least two years. *sigh* The good news is that my teacher seems to be sick or something so she can't come to school. During the last week, I didn't have Philosophy but today we had a new teacher. She is really nice but the problem is that no one takes her seriously. Everyone just laughs and talks like there is no tomorrow. It's funny that in 90 minutes, we only managed to read a text of 3 pages and in all that, we didn't even understand one thing about it! It was a great class, of course the teacher was seconds away of killing us. :D

Another thing I figured out is that my mood depends a lot on the music I am listening. If I'm listening to a calm music, I'm usually smiling but if I hear something sad (OSTs usually do the trick) then I also feel like I should be frowning and glaring at everyone. (LOL.) Yeah, I am weird that way after all. :D 

And so my diet continues... I hate that stupid tea... 1 liter of green tea without caffeine and sugar every day is hell, literally. I just hope this really works because it has been a week and I haven't noticed a single change (not that I am expecting great results in a week but still...). 

"Psychement"! xP

Tue, Nov. 8th, 2011 09:31 pm
rhainus: (Default)
 Damn! I'm so psyched in writing that I'm completely lost! I have no idea what to write, here that is because nothing out of extraordinary happened today, so I'm completely dry of ideas. xP Even so, I'm going to write something.

Right now, I'm watching Walking Dead but I'm going to try and write something too. My Portuguese test was a success, or at least I think that because it went well, even though I didn't know some answers... Well, I'll see the results later. Meanwhile, I don't have anymore tests until next week! :D I guess I can be happy then. 

Midnight ranting!

Mon, Nov. 7th, 2011 11:41 pm
rhainus: Rose Jewelry (Rose Jewelry)
 So it's almost midnight, I'm going to wake up at 7 am tomorrow, and I'm still on the computer. Yeah, I will definitely have my eyes closed all the time tomorrow. :D Even though, I wanted to write something more here, so I won't forget half the things I want to say.

So I guess it all starts with Friday. I went to school in the morning but in the evening I went to a nutritionist. Yeah, I think I'm fat. Well, I guess every person thinks that but it never bothered me much. I guess the main reason for that is that every girl in my class is thinner than me, and that makes me feel very self conscious. My mother found out and brought me to the doctor, threatening to take me to a psychiatrist. Hmm, not I didn't want to but I don't want my family to have more trouble with the money because their teenager daughter is having a midlife crisis. xP Well, I went to the doctor and now I'm on a diet! :D I'm so happy! And the good part of it is that, not only I am losing weight, I also am eating stuff I love! Really! I love diet food. ~Weirdo~ xP

And then, the weekend... Nothing happened, really. I started my diet on Sunday, because we were only able to buy everything on that day, and now I'm happily writing here, with a smile on my face. I have to admit that Fia, aka [personal profile] zaifie, was the main reason for me talking here. :D She is a really lovable and sweet person. I hope we get to know each other through time.

And now I'm off to bed, Portuguese test tomorrow and I must say, Portuguese isn't exactly easy...

Beach day!

Tue, Nov. 1st, 2011 06:23 pm
rhainus: Rose Jewelry (Rose Jewelry)
Just to make myself clear before people start getting suspicious. Yes. it's very cold here but I didn't go to the beach to swim or sun bath. I just went with my doggy to take a walk. I have to be honest, I was kind of tired of being in there for more than an hour. It get's tiring.

Of course my day didn't start that way. I first went to buy my bus pass, because of the new month, then I bought a new keyboard (!!!) which I am using right now, and then I went shopping, grocery shopping.

This was a day off but it wasn't a day I wanted to repeat. I like the beach but not enought to spend the whole day there so I kind of wasted my day off. Tomorrow I will have to get up early, again, but luckily I only have classes until lunch time.

I still need to check if I have finished my homework, and prepare everything for school tomorrow so that I can come to the computer and continue writing. I'm currently writing a Katekyo Hitman Reborn fan fiction, still haven't posted anywhere though. But I will someday.


Tue, Nov. 1st, 2011 12:06 am
rhainus: (Default)
31st October, last day of the month, Halloween day! I love Halloween, it's a very crazy and nice day! The only problem is that my country doesn't exactly get excited over it. I wished I could celebrate it just like in other countries but that's not possible so nothing I can do. Though if next Halloween I can get a costume, it will definitely be a non-sparkly vampire (>.<) or, more probably, something really creepy though I'm not too sure yet. I still have a full long year to decide. :D

On to more important, kind of, stuff... I'm so tired after a Monday. It's the day I spent the most time at school! It's just crazy and then my last class is the subject I hate the most! Seriously, it all sucks. Not to mention I hate my course and my class. I guess the only thing making me go to school is definitely my parents, or else I would have given up a long time ago.

Of course this day wasn't totally wasted. We received our English grammar test and I found out that I had the best mark of all his classes! I was so happy, and everyone congratulated me. Of course what I loved the most was the teacher's face as I went back to make sure he wrote the right mark. He hadn't expected me, the random girl on his class, to be the best. I'm so freaking happy!!!

Tomorrow will be a day off and I have to get up early so I guess I'll go sleep early, aka 1am. xP

- I'm back! -

Mon, Oct. 31st, 2011 11:38 pm
rhainus: Rose Jewelry (Rose Jewelry)
Wow! It's been... almost half a year (!!!) since I've posted anything here! Then I guess I'll start by introducing myself, again, and then writing my reasons for coming back.

My name, or the name I usually go by on the internet, is Rhainus though I'm always changing it. I'm a teenager and a high school student. I'm usually described as a person-who's-always-laughing (didn't notice until someone said it to me), too straightforward (enough to really hurt people without meaning to) and extremely picky (it depends in what but I always point something wrong with a person, an object and even myself!).

I, like every person, have some things I like to do and also have my own problems. I specifically love to write and to listen to music. I am really easily bored and tend to sit all day thinking in what to do. Sometimes, I think I'm suffering from depression but I have no one I can talk about it. 

Well, first of all I didn't intend to come back. but I thought that by telling someone, even if that someone is a virtual site and no one will probably read it, the things I wanted to tell to a person I could call a friend so I decided to come back. I'll mostly use this site to write stuff like my diary, whenever I feel like, and to place my fictions, either original or fan ones. I'll also put everything I want to be recorded of someday.


rhainus: (Default)

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