rhainus: Rain Box (Rain Box)
2011-12-29 03:14 pm
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(no subject)

 It's been awhile ever since the last time I wrote anything. The main reason is most likely my depression. I don't think I have one but I am mere inches away from having one. These last moments haven't been exactly happy.

Ever since Christmas day, I noticed that in my family, no one really cares about Christmas. I am atheist but I like to celebrate Christmas as a day to spend with my family. We do that, but it's nothing happy. Christmas Eve is happier than the Christmas Day itself. While I greet my family with Happy Christmas, no one cares. Really... Not a real thing to be so depressed about but nowadays, people don't care about spending time together as family. I myself admit, I am too shy and socially awkward but I loved the time I spend with my family.

I got my school grades and they were really lousy. It just gives me more will to stop going to school. I don't like my class, I only have two persons there I truly consider my friend, the teachers have their favorites and if you aren't one of them you might as well give up going to their classes, I don't like the area I choose, I don't like anything. I am very pessimist by itself but those things just make me want to give up on living. Unfortunately, I don't have enough courage to commit suicide. But maybe that's a good thing or else I would have killed myself a long time ago. Then again, maybe that would be for the best.

If I could go back, I would have thrown everything away and just gone into an art school. That's my dream but I know my parents would never allow it. After all, to them, I am merely a child who has to be perfect. It makes me really depressed when I see other people my age and younger go out with their friends, have fun with them while I am forced to live as the perfect. Do you know what it is to have a good grade, show it to your parents and instead of a "Congratulations", you receive a "you could have done better"? It's awful! It just makes you want to have F's and more F's!

As if that wasn't enough, I also am now forbidden of being more than 1 hour at the computer from next week forward. It's so awesome, isn't it? 

Because of all that and much more I don't even have the will to write about, I decided to stop writing in here so I guess my last entry will be this one. I just hope next year will be a better year.

PS: Reading this again, it really seems like my life is shit. But I know it isn't and that there are people in worst conditions than mine. I know that but it doesn't stop me from being selfish. We are all human, after all.
rhainus: (Default)
2011-12-16 03:31 pm
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Pairings List

This will be updated from time to time when I discover new pairings that I like. Most of them are malexmale but I support every type of relationship. Some of them are incest so beware. If you have a problem just don't read. This is my personal list.

~ Manga/Anime ~

* Revolutionary Girl Utena/Adolescence of Utena
- Utena & Anthy

* Yu Gi Oh
- Bakura & Ryou
- Seth & Atemu
- Yami & Yugi
- Seto & Joey 
- Jeese/Johan & Jaden/Judai

* Mirai Nikki
- Yukitteru & Yuno
- Akise & Yukitteru
- Nishijima & Minene 

* Horitsuba Gakuen (Tsubasa Chronicles/ xxxHolic)
- Syaoran & Sakura (HG/TRC)
- Kurogane & Fai (HG/TRC)
- Toya & Yukito (TRC)
- Doumeki & Watanuki (HG/xxxHolic)
- Syaoron & Yui (HG) (Syaoron, the older twin and not Syaoran, the younger twin that is in love with Sakura.)

* Katekyo Hitman Reborn
- Adult Reborn & TYL Lambo & Adult Colonello (RL56) (This pairing is so unique! Especially because it usually starts with Reborn and Colonello trying to win Lambo and then they all end up together. xP)
- Cozatto & Giotto (CG)
- Mukuro & Hibari & Tsuna (691827) (Eheh, threesome xP)
- Yamamoto & Gokudera (8059)
- Byakuran & Shouichi (10051)

* Ao no Exorcist
- Yukio & Rin (They are twins, even though they look nothing alike.)

* Nurarihyon no Mago
- Rikuo & Itaku
- Rihan & Yamabuki Otome (Their love is so tragic.) 
- Rihan & Young Nurarihyon & Rikuo (... omg... incest in at its finest!!! Blame Lunaryu since she is the one makes awesome fics about them!!!)

* Mai Hime/ Mai Otome
- Shizuru & Natsuki (MH/MO)
- Mai & Mikoto (MH/MO)
- Sergey & Arika (MO)

* Star Driver
- Sugata & Takuto

* Bleach
- Ulquiorra & Orihime
- Ichigo & Ichida

* Naruto
- Sasuke & Naruto
- Kakashi & Iruka

* One Piece
- Zoro & Sanji
- Kidd & Law
- Marco & Ace
- Smoker & Ace

~ Games~

* Disgaea 2
- Adell & Rozallie

* Persona 3/ Persona 4
- Minato & Ryouji
- Shinjiro & Akihiko
- Kanji & Naoto
- Narukami/Seta & Rise
- Chie & Yukiko

* Final Fantasy
- Tidus & Yuna
- Wakka & Lulu
- Auron & Rikku
- Squall & Rinoa
- Zidane & Garnet
- Steiner & Beatrix
- Nine & Kurasame
- Eight & Cater
- Jack & Eight
~ TV Series~

* Hawaii Five-0
- Steve & Danny

* Covert Affairs
- August "Auggie" & Annie
rhainus: Christmas 2011 (Christmas 2011)
2011-12-16 03:22 pm
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~Two weeks later~

And so it is almost two weeks since I've said anything. The reason? School, aka the end of the term. It's annoying and crazy and annoying and boring and annoying because it's everything at once. (Yeah, it is annoying.) Finally, Christmas Vacations and I'm happy with that alone. This year has been crazy because there are so many changes and my grades are going really down. Well, no use crying over spilled milk. xP 

Nothing too excited happen these last weeks but we found out that our Philosophy teacher is pregnant. (>.<) It seems she has problems with pregnancies because the first time she was, she ended up having a spontaneous abortion. It's awful because this time she almost had one. And I read something like an intro from a story written by a friend. The story has a lot of potential and even though it's just something like a draft, I was hooked up before I knew it. I'm so looking forward to the story! :D

I guess that's it for the week and stuff. Now it's almost Christmas and I'm jumping with happiness. :D
rhainus: (Default)
2011-12-05 07:10 pm
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... I need to think of titles...

So... I've been busy this past week... Kind of... Busy doing what? Well, trying to control myself in the new Terraria update and trying to study more. The 1st term final exams but I still study as much as I did in the first grade, pretty much nothing. I know, I should study more but I don't have the patient. I can't sit in a chair looking at the same page two hours trying to memorize one single line!!! It's for crazy!!! Well, tomorrow I will have Mathematics test and I will just hope that someone will take me off of my computer so I can study something.

Anyways, I love Terraria. Best game ever! (Lol. I'm a nerd, so yeah...) Other than that, I have nothing else to say. Except, I got the game for only 2.50 euros and believe me, it's way too cheap. And I'm happy, of course. 

Today I started talking with two other classmates and they are awesome, really. I hate all my teachers, except the English one, and I guess that's pretty much it. So now, I'm off to play Terraria and pray.