Weird dream...

Wed, Nov. 23rd, 2011 09:04 pm
rhainus: Rain Box (Rain Box)
[personal profile] rhainus
Okay so it's not Monday or anything like that but I felt like I had to write something... Yesterday night, I had a very weird dream... I dreamed of my ex-best friend! This is freaky, weird, everything! I searched up the meaning and maybe the dream had something to do with our "break up".

We stopped being friends for a stupid reason but because I feel like he doesn't want me as his friend anymore, I can't go and talk to him... I felt really sad when he said we wouldn't be friends anymore... He changed so much this past months. Just because he admitted to be gay, got himself a boyfriend (even though they are only dating to show the world their sexuality) and then met new people.

We met each other when we were in the same class (6th grade). We never talked very much but in our 8th grade we began to spend more time together and before we knew it, we were best friends. We did everything together, told each other our secrets and we even wrote a story together (I might post it someday and finish it). In our 9th grade, I asked to be changed from my class and we were separated but we still remained best friends. We didn't spend much time together but we were indeed friends and still talked to each other. He was my best friend, the best of the best friends I had ever had. In our 10th grade, this year, we had to change schools but we still are in the same school. Because we choose different study areas, we got separated again. We continued to be friends and talk to each other but while I kept being a loner with my class, he started getting more and more outgoing with them. Suddenly, he told me he got a boyfriend. I was happy with him, really, but I felt that he wasn't really in love with him and that was an awful thing but I never judged him because of that. I supported him all the way. The problem was that he began to spend more time with his class and then we rarely saw each other. And whenever we got together, he would always tell me that I should try to get better with my own class. I was so sick but I didn't say anything. One day, I was going to my class and he started telling me the same stuff. I said my goodbyes and went to class. Later when I found him, I told him I wanted to speak with him but he told me he had nothing to speak. I was sad and started going away but he stopped me and said that he was just kidding. I said that it was okay if he didn't want to speak with me in that moment and when I was going way, he told me that he would never, ever be my friend again... At that time, I felt my chest clench and tears almost made their way to my eyes.

Now, whenever we meet each other, he is always smiling and completely ignores me. I feel broken... he was my best friend... The person that I considered more important in my whole world... Now, he ignores me and talks bad behind my back...

I just want us to be friends again... but I'm afraid... I feel like crying whenever I see you, Sérgio. i just hope we get to be friends again.
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