rhainus: (Default)
Hmm... I had come to the conclusion that I my problem as some kind of writer is not exactly lack of ideas but lack of will to write. More specifically, I don't know how to voice my thoughts. It's a problem that I'm sure I'm not the only one suffer from but I really want to be able to finish even one of my projects. I write when I'm hit with an idea and that idea doesn't leave me for days without end. It even reaches a point where I actually fall asleep thinking about my idea and putting it on paper (or a computer).

And lately, I've been hooked up in a particularly story that I had started writing sometime ago. Because I'm really afraid that I will probably write a few words and then move on with my life, leaving the document gathering dust in My Documents folder, I've decided to do something about it. And the best thing that occurred to me was to place deadlines on my works so I can finally finish something I start.

I work better when I know that I have to do some thing until I reach day X. Because I usually write without any type of deadline, I usually give up on the idea. So, for that reason, I decided to try to write with a deadline. For now, the deadline will be bigger because I need to worry about school and stuff. 

June 15th
- Nameless Star Driver AU One Shot, Edit
- Nameless Vocaloid Fic, Chapter1and Edit
rhainus: (Default)
 Well, as the title says, I am going to talk about anime, in a way.

In March, 18th March to be more specific, I went to my first Anime Convention. I didn't even know they made those here in Portugal so when I heard about it I immediately convinced my brother to come with me. And he did. And we had a great time. I won't go into details but even though the place was small, it was lotsa fun. For the first time in my life, I actually ate ramen. *squeal* It was a lot better tasty than I ever thought it would be. My brother, on the other hand, thought it would be more tasty.

Anyways, I saw lots of cosplayers, some good, some awful. There were four cosplayers which I absolutely loved: Shizuo from Durarara!!!; Creeper from Minecraft (yeah, I know), Sanji from One Piece and some ninja from Sound Village (the ones that appear on the beginning of the anime) from Naruto. The last one was the best and I don't even like Naruto that much.

And, the big surprise there was, I found a guy from my school. How cool is that? He even recognized me (for some random reason). I was really happy knowing that there were other people like me, that liked Anime like me. Because, in a way, I'm a outcast because I don't like the same stuff as people my age from my country do. And, last week, my friend told me someone that also liked Anime wanted to meet me. I think it's the guy I met in the convention but I'm not sure. Then again, I'm beginning to think that it might not be him at all seeing as we've passed each other a lots of times but he hasn't said anything. maybe he's like me, a little shy? Well, I would love to meet people who like Anime in real life.

And, since we are in the subject, I might as well let it out. Despite me always saying that I don't like my classes, I think this one might be my favorite. I got a friend whom we share the same views of life, I found a friend who is also a writer like me (and he really wants to write something with me but I'm out of ideas) and I found another friend who is a hard core gamer, a little like me but he is more hardcore. In a single year I found three people with whom I share my hobbies so I am really happy.

I hope that by the end of the year, I have met that Anime guy and see what we could talk about. : )

EDIT: I finally met him!!! And I love the guy! He's a nice person and he likes the same stuff I do. It's really rare to come by a person like that in my country (well, at least in my school). 

rhainus: (Default)
 Dear diary, (... *goes and kills herself*)

Just kidding. I'm back after being some days away. I noticed I had a lot of stuff I wanted/needed to write so I decided to do so.

First, I noticed something really important (at least for me). I love writing, watching, seeing, reading, whatever romance but I absolutely despise it when it comes to myself or even in real life (in a way). Whenever I walk through school, I can't help but notice the large amount of couples. Which really grosses me out. I love seeing love but when it's really love and not just the usual 'let's show the others we date'. I mean, from my point of view, they are practically having sex with their clothes on!!! If I want to see two people having sex, I would go to a porn site, thank you very much. But I don't want to and I find it gross. I also hate love when I'm concerned. In other words, romance is a beautiful thing but not when I'm somehow involved.

Why did I suddenly remember this? Because of my friend.

I have a friend that is in love with a boy and the boy is in love with her (I can see that and I don't know him that well). The problem is... they aren't dating. The question is: why? Because she is stupid. I love her to death but I think she is being stupid. She knows he loves him and tells me that she loves him but she refuses to date him, whenever he comes to talk to her, she brushes him off with a cold shower, etc, etc, etc. In other words, she is taking him as granted. And that makes me really mad. I think he is a nice guy and she is doing nothing than seeding hopes to him when she had no intention of dating him! Today I finally asked, why do you do that? And she answer me, because I don't like when he pressures me. He isn't pressuring her, he is just in love with her. If she is really in love with him, she would talk to him about it and not do what she has been doing ever since they know they like each other: taking him for granted. I'm even amazed he hasn't been fed up with her. Well, I'm crossing my fingers so that she finally sees her mistake and they end up together but it's all up to her. I'm just giving a few pushes her and there.

Well, I have some more stuff to say but it has nothing to do with this so I'll write it in my next post.

rhainus: (Default)
 Okay, it's been a really long time since I wrote something here (... it has only been 3 days...) and I've really been craving to write something.

To be honest, I did write stuff. I tried to start some of the prompts but... well... whenever I started writing, I had other ideas and I ended up writing about 5 prompts at the same time in which the main is probably the least talked about... Okay, this isn't quite right.... There is something wrong... So, I decided to create a set of characters so I can create the stories with each prompts. I was thinking of making each prompt a chapter.

And I've decided to check the NaNoWriMo site to see what they are up to: nothing much, figures! : ) I also passed by the 'Junior Section' (NaNoWriMo Young Writers) main page and I saw something that I really liked. On their homepage, they having something called 'Dare Machine' and, just as the name clues to, it generates a mini-plot for writers to write (pretty much like a prompt). And, what I wanted to say is, loved mine. It's pretty cliche but I already have lots of ideas for this single sentence.

The sentence is: We dare you to write a chapter where your antagonist saves the day and your protagonist's life at the same time.

How cool is that? The antagonist, usually trying to kill the protagonist and 'rule' over the world actually manages to save the day. EPIC! I shall start this sometime tomorrow.

Now, I will go away now because I  need to study Math so I can raise my grade. And I was studying but I needed a small break, which I used to write this.

PS: I'm what you would call, sick as a dog. Yesterday, before I went to bed, I drank one of my daily cups of green tea and then happily went back to my computer. I started surfing through the net while waiting to get tired and then go to bed. But, it was almost 1am and I was still as awake as ever. What happened? I asked myself and then... tea... I am used to drink caffeine-free green tea but I now have to change between a caffeine-free and a biologic one. They are both green though. I completely forgot about one thing... the biologic one has caffeine. And it was about 2 am (I had to get up at 7.30) and I was still moping around my head, trying to fall asleep. And then, as if some kind of 'miracle' *sarcasm*, my throat began to hurt. And I automatically knew I was going to be sick the next day. When I woke up, this morning, my throat was like sh*t (sorry about the language), my head hurt, my alergies decided to get as worse as ever and I was sleeping while standing. Let's just say I want to kill myself right now... *coughs* Stupid cold, alergies, rain, school, endless week and maths test... *sigh* I need my sweet rest...

rhainus: (Default)
From all the tables here, I choose the 1st one (A) because it was the one who seems to have more to do with my story. I'll start with them as soon as I can.

001.Crash 002.Dim 003.Futile 004.Erratic 005.Loved
006.Soft 007.Hold 008.Shackles 009.Broken 010.Precious
011.Odds and Ends 012.Tea 013.Twisted 014.Echo 015.Soothe
016.Fight 017.Naked 018.Push 019.Alive 020.New
021.Born 022.Murmur 023.Devious 024.Isolation 025.Starve
026.Breakable 027.Winter 028.Ignore 029.Colour 030.Grace
031.Belong 032.Choke 033.Reach 034.Difficult 035.Heat
036.Veneer 037.Fall 038.Nightmare 039.Contagious 040.Good riddance
041.Goodbye 042.Scarred 043.Last dance 044.Burn 045.Steady
046.Monster 047.Voodoo 048.Shine 049.Intent 050.Camping
051.Grave 052.Machine 053.Destination 054.Nowhere 055.Garden
056.I know 057.Dust 058.Dream 059.Destiny 060.Spring
061.Sigh 062.Fingertips 063.Waiting 064.Playboy 065.Revenge
066.July 067.Desire 068.Free 069.Celebration 070.Stars
071.Morgue 072.Space 073.Whitewash 074.Alone 075.Coma
076.Letters 077.Phone call 078.Music 079.Silence 080.Cards
081.Emblem 082.Elephant 083.Monopoly 084.Reality 085.Serenity
086.Bone 087.Chalk dust 088.Manuscript 089.Ink 090.Perfection
091.Ring 092.Drive 093.Missing 094.Full moon 095.New direction
096.Writer's Choice 097.Writer's Choice 098.Writer's Choice 099.Writer's Choice 100.Writer's Choice
rhainus: (Default)
Hey there! I've been wondering for awhile if I should start each of my entries with the 'Dear Diary' expression. xP That would be awesome! But I won't do it.

As I said before, somewhere around the last year (...), my mood depends on the music I am currently listening to. At first, I thought it was just coincidence but I noticed that when I'm down and I listen to a cheerful song, I always seem to have a smile on my face. On the other hand, if I'm happy and I listen to a sad song, I am always frowning. *Weirdo here~*

This last week nothing much happened except... *sigh* I got an evaluation and I had an awful grade. What bothered me the most was that I though for sure I was going to have a good grade and then, from almost everything I got wrong,  I still think  that the right answers don't make sense! But this test was made by our government and it was a national one so my teacher had no fault with that. I don't blame her though. She is a nice teacher. She even tried to cheer me up after I got my test. She also said she would do what she could so this test wouldn't lower my final grade that much. In any case, I want to fucking kill my country's government.

And... I feel the need to write this... the new OVA of Ai no Kusabi is OUT!!! *fangirl squeak* I love that series so much it's almost criminal! I remember the first time i saw it (the old one) I skipped almost everything because I didn't like the plot, or the idea of a seme with long hair or a manly uke, and I absolutely hated it. But, sometime later, when my mind actually got grew up, I went back to watch everything and... sweet mother of God! That series has everything really. The only problem is the fact that you need to have an older mind to actually appreciate such masterpiece. It might be the best Yaoi series I have ever seen. Of course, really close to that spot is Maiden Rose (another yaoi series). That one though I prefer the manga. I just wish they continued it. *snif snif* What is it with me and tragic love?!

Now, I should probably go and start study because I have an exam tomorrow. Physics. I love Physics, much better than Chemistry. And the funny thing about that is that everyone seems to think that Chemistry is much better than Physics.

Also (geez, I can't seem to stop rambling when I start...) I decided to do a 100 prompt. challenge. Blame [personal profile] zaifie . She is the one doing them and I am in an urgent need of writing. I decided to use the characters from the original novel I am writing, which I shall post sometime soon enough. I will post the table in my next post.

Okay, last thing: why do people who write automatically consider themselves writers and the best that there is? I mean, come on, I write and I am a writer? I am automatically better than everyone else? NO! Why don't people see that? Also, why do people write 'I am a published author' in hopes of being seen as better than others? Who cares if they are published or something? I bet I never seen one single piece of their story in my whole life. And, what makes them think that if they are published, they are automatically better? They are not. I've seen people who write but don't consider themselves writers nor they have any of their works published that have better stories than most stuff I find published. Being published doesn't mean being the best. It only serves to work up their ego (to some people, of course).

Okay, the end, finished, fim, etc. Should probably go study right now... *too lazy*


Sun, Apr. 22nd, 2012 01:25 pm
rhainus: (Default)
 ...hmm... I've certainly disappeared for awhile, didn't I? *sigh* Well, I guess the first thing I should say is: I'm back. : ) The second would be the reason for my sudden return. I noticed, over the time I was out, that I certainly like to write and this journal seems like a nice way to do it. Especially when I re-read everything I wrote and remembered. It give me a certain feeling of accomplishment. Of course it also gave me the need to bang my head against the wall because of how depressed I had been. *bangs head against wall* God, I sounded like an emo!!! I feel embarrassed...

Well, yesterday, it was my birthday and I had an awesome day. : ) And one of this things I found out is that, we don't need to get presents to have fun in our birthday. As far as I remember, this has been my favorite birthday ever and it was also the only one where I didn't receive one single gift. My parents wanted to give me stuff but I told them I didn't want anything. One thing I didn't like was the way my brother treated them. We are kind of fighting each other now but, on my own birthday, he didn't even wish me a happy anniversary. For that reason, because I'm still human, I decided that, in his next birthday, I will ignore him completely. Pretty much like he did with me. Even if we are in good terms. I'll make him pay for what he did to me. I'm a very resentful person, after all.

Also, I decided to post my first original story for the first time. I hope people read it and review it. I'll post it here, someday. When I'm not too lazy. xP

EDIT: Lol, I just found out that this is my first entry for this year. xP 

(no subject)

Thu, Dec. 29th, 2011 03:14 pm
rhainus: Rain Box (Rain Box)
 It's been awhile ever since the last time I wrote anything. The main reason is most likely my depression. I don't think I have one but I am mere inches away from having one. These last moments haven't been exactly happy.

Ever since Christmas day, I noticed that in my family, no one really cares about Christmas. I am atheist but I like to celebrate Christmas as a day to spend with my family. We do that, but it's nothing happy. Christmas Eve is happier than the Christmas Day itself. While I greet my family with Happy Christmas, no one cares. Really... Not a real thing to be so depressed about but nowadays, people don't care about spending time together as family. I myself admit, I am too shy and socially awkward but I loved the time I spend with my family.

I got my school grades and they were really lousy. It just gives me more will to stop going to school. I don't like my class, I only have two persons there I truly consider my friend, the teachers have their favorites and if you aren't one of them you might as well give up going to their classes, I don't like the area I choose, I don't like anything. I am very pessimist by itself but those things just make me want to give up on living. Unfortunately, I don't have enough courage to commit suicide. But maybe that's a good thing or else I would have killed myself a long time ago. Then again, maybe that would be for the best.

If I could go back, I would have thrown everything away and just gone into an art school. That's my dream but I know my parents would never allow it. After all, to them, I am merely a child who has to be perfect. It makes me really depressed when I see other people my age and younger go out with their friends, have fun with them while I am forced to live as the perfect. Do you know what it is to have a good grade, show it to your parents and instead of a "Congratulations", you receive a "you could have done better"? It's awful! It just makes you want to have F's and more F's!

As if that wasn't enough, I also am now forbidden of being more than 1 hour at the computer from next week forward. It's so awesome, isn't it? 

Because of all that and much more I don't even have the will to write about, I decided to stop writing in here so I guess my last entry will be this one. I just hope next year will be a better year.

PS: Reading this again, it really seems like my life is shit. But I know it isn't and that there are people in worst conditions than mine. I know that but it doesn't stop me from being selfish. We are all human, after all.

Pairings List

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2011 03:31 pm
rhainus: (Default)
This will be updated from time to time when I discover new pairings that I like. Most of them are malexmale but I support every type of relationship. Some of them are incest so beware. If you have a problem just don't read. This is my personal list.

~ Manga/Anime ~

* Revolutionary Girl Utena/Adolescence of Utena
- Utena & Anthy

* Yu Gi Oh
- Bakura & Ryou
- Seth & Atemu
- Yami & Yugi
- Seto & Joey 
- Jeese/Johan & Jaden/Judai

* Mirai Nikki
- Yukitteru & Yuno
- Akise & Yukitteru
- Nishijima & Minene 

* Horitsuba Gakuen (Tsubasa Chronicles/ xxxHolic)
- Syaoran & Sakura (HG/TRC)
- Kurogane & Fai (HG/TRC)
- Toya & Yukito (TRC)
- Doumeki & Watanuki (HG/xxxHolic)
- Syaoron & Yui (HG) (Syaoron, the older twin and not Syaoran, the younger twin that is in love with Sakura.)

* Katekyo Hitman Reborn
- Adult Reborn & TYL Lambo & Adult Colonello (RL56) (This pairing is so unique! Especially because it usually starts with Reborn and Colonello trying to win Lambo and then they all end up together. xP)
- Cozatto & Giotto (CG)
- Mukuro & Hibari & Tsuna (691827) (Eheh, threesome xP)
- Yamamoto & Gokudera (8059)
- Byakuran & Shouichi (10051)

* Ao no Exorcist
- Yukio & Rin (They are twins, even though they look nothing alike.)

* Nurarihyon no Mago
- Rikuo & Itaku
- Rihan & Yamabuki Otome (Their love is so tragic.) 
- Rihan & Young Nurarihyon & Rikuo (... omg... incest in at its finest!!! Blame Lunaryu since she is the one makes awesome fics about them!!!)

* Mai Hime/ Mai Otome
- Shizuru & Natsuki (MH/MO)
- Mai & Mikoto (MH/MO)
- Sergey & Arika (MO)

* Star Driver
- Sugata & Takuto

* Bleach
- Ulquiorra & Orihime
- Ichigo & Ichida

* Naruto
- Sasuke & Naruto
- Kakashi & Iruka

* One Piece
- Zoro & Sanji
- Kidd & Law
- Marco & Ace
- Smoker & Ace

~ Games~

* Disgaea 2
- Adell & Rozallie

* Persona 3/ Persona 4
- Minato & Ryouji
- Shinjiro & Akihiko
- Kanji & Naoto
- Narukami/Seta & Rise
- Chie & Yukiko

* Final Fantasy
- Tidus & Yuna
- Wakka & Lulu
- Auron & Rikku
- Squall & Rinoa
- Zidane & Garnet
- Steiner & Beatrix
- Nine & Kurasame
- Eight & Cater
- Jack & Eight
~ TV Series~

* Hawaii Five-0
- Steve & Danny

* Covert Affairs
- August "Auggie" & Annie

~Two weeks later~

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2011 03:22 pm
rhainus: Christmas 2011 (Christmas 2011)
And so it is almost two weeks since I've said anything. The reason? School, aka the end of the term. It's annoying and crazy and annoying and boring and annoying because it's everything at once. (Yeah, it is annoying.) Finally, Christmas Vacations and I'm happy with that alone. This year has been crazy because there are so many changes and my grades are going really down. Well, no use crying over spilled milk. xP 

Nothing too excited happen these last weeks but we found out that our Philosophy teacher is pregnant. (>.<) It seems she has problems with pregnancies because the first time she was, she ended up having a spontaneous abortion. It's awful because this time she almost had one. And I read something like an intro from a story written by a friend. The story has a lot of potential and even though it's just something like a draft, I was hooked up before I knew it. I'm so looking forward to the story! :D

I guess that's it for the week and stuff. Now it's almost Christmas and I'm jumping with happiness. :D


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